Green Eyed Monster

15 Jan

I like to think I am a pleasant well wisher..I mean,I’m happy when something good happens to my friends,family,hell even to neighbors and colleagues.I smile,say congrats,laugh about the journey to the big event and once in a very rare while take them out to celebrate.

However,i ve had my own fair share of moments when all i really wanted to do after hearing someone’s good news was look up to the heavens and scream whyyyyyyyy?????. At such moments i grit my teeth behind my smile,bet it kinda shows in my almost teary eyes,but of course they are usually too happy to notice.

As if its not enough they go ahead to either ask for my help or advice,of course i help,not without cursing under my breath though. Grudgingly dragging through whatever task i’m assigned all the while envisioning myself strangling them every time they burst into excited giggles going “omg i can’t believe this is happening to me”.

Well, well, well,i get over my jealousy(is it even jealousy?), accept things after a short while(er..does weeks count as short?).

The thing is, this only happens when i think I’m more deserving of what someone else has got,you know… I’m smarter,nicer,kinder,kiss more ass and stuff,only for this person to just get the prize.

Question now is, how do u honestly say who deserves what? because sometimes I’m a total b**** and still I get it good,aint nobody telling me i don’t deserve it then.

Anyways i guess its healthy to sometimes feel a tiny measure of displeasure when someone else wins. Not feeling this way would mean i do not think well of myself. We all know how having a low self esteem sucks.

So feel free to share your good news with me,and if am not ecstatic, know its because I’m dying to take your place,and that my friend is the truest form of admiration.

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